fascinating.

The Washington Post (online) recently reported on a phenomenon occurring in Japan in which upper-class working husbands are learning how be demonstrably affectionate toward their wives, from cooking and cleaning to even the occasional (sometimes once in a lifetime) "I love you". Apparently, wives in Japan can now claim up to 50% of their husbands' company pensions upon divorce. Once this new law was effected in April, divorce filing rates in Japan went up 6.1%, which I think everyone can agree is alarming. 

Of course, what is more alarming (to Christian, female, middle-class American me) is the amount of emotional neglect that these wives have probably experienced for so many generations. It makes me wonder about traditional Japanese definitions of happiness, love, and prosperity, and whether the pursuit of these things holds any real import in individual lives. Either way, if it didn't, it seems like it's starting to. The article makes it clear that many of the "grounds" for divorce occurring in Japan are directly related to the amount of time the husband spends at work and whether or not he is emotionally available at home.

It also makes me wonder about American grounds for divorce. In the States, it seems like "boredom" is a sufficient reason to up and leave your job, hometown, and spouse. Though I'm shocked at hearing about the amount of emotional unavailability Japanese families may sometimes tolerate, I'm also impressed that many of these marriages have "stuck it out" for so long. Of course, this may be related to the fact that Japanese women who are married may not have the means to become financially independent; I don't know. Of course, family is considered extremely important in many cultures, and so divorce may not be a socially acceptable thing to do anyway. In any case, I would toss all this up to cultural differences if it wasn't true that Japan has one of the highest suicide rates in the world. It seems like all work and no lovin' seem to lead to self-destruction.

Now, don't get me wrong. I really don't know much about Japan. I'm sure it's a nice place, and the problem of loveless marriages isn't relegated to one corner of the globe. But it's interesting to discover that the relationship between love, the demonstration of it, and marriage is an issue from East to West.

I know this is a fairly simplistic analysis of an incredibly complicated and historically-couched institution, but after watching this video I couldn't help but feel especially thankful for the men in my life (and in my friends' lives), including our fathers, brothers, and boyfriends, who seem to effortlessly express their care to us. Not everyone has this problem, and many of us can be grateful to have experienced and known that we are loved.